You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
