Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
