its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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