the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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