ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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