I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
