My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
