WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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