The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
