quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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