Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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