just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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