Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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