toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
