Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm at about main and main street
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
