FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
