beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
