that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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