I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
