I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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