Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
