phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I need to align my fucking chakras
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
