We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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