i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize