yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
