i don't like sucking hair
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize