Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Did I show you my penis last night?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
