god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
