3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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