Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
