Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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