What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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