Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
