I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My ass is underappreciated
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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