he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
