You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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