I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
