Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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