I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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