dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
