did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
