Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
