Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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