I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
