Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Actions speak louder than pants.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
