absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
