i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
if only i could text you this smell
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
