remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize