Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
