Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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