Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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