Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
