Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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