how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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