Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize