are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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