I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Your penis caused this!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
