So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he fucked my hip out of place.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
