chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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