ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
