I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
