Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
