so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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