I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
