i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
