I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
