your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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